This post is dedicated to all those who feel the need to talk trash about me behind my back, especially the gentlemen whose girlfriends I did not fuck and have therefore done zero injustice to. You lot have absolutely no reason to vilify me, no justifications that make sense, no revenge that has to be sought in any way. I’m happy you have something to keep yourself alive for because if I had your life and no pastime as perversely gratifying as rumour-mongering, I’d slit my wrists faster than anyone can dial 995.

Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future. Well, I’m pursuing my dreams, equipping myself with an education and living my life to the fullest. Some of you, on the other hand, have found it more convenient to drop out of poly and settle for some mundane career, no wait, job with zero prospects and a life devoid of any worthy aspirations. Put your money where your mouth is and prove to me that you’re not just all talk. Go on then.

So you’ll probably carry on having your fun, spreading your juicy rumours about me and possibly any other people whom you’re jealous of. It doesn’t matter all that much, I mean, it’s not as if you’re spreading them amongst influential company anyway. Go exhaust your excuse of an existence, have a jolly good time gossiping about things you imagine happening in the lives of people who want to have absolutely nothing to do with you.

GET A LIFE.

I kinda miss my life. Those days a few months back when everything seems so fine and easy and of cos fun. Happening nights out with all the coolest ppl. But right now, my life's souless. It's fcuking empty and seriously boring.

This is the first stage of entering stability. Althou yes, i hate ups and downs. But this kinda stability is no doubt killing me, and at alarming rate. To you guys out there, you might be thinking, " Nicole's just not ready to settle down yet. " Okay maybe you're right. If im ready, i wont be fretting over this right now.

My phone's getting too silent. No longer hotline. Thats something i;ve been missing seriously.

What are the risk of entering stage 2 of stability? Will i get to lose most of my friends? Most of my weekend activities? My privacy? And to myself? Im afraid. Afraid that i might sink back into that kinda life Abel and i once shared. I've dragged myself out of that pit long ago and seriously i never ever wana enter that pit or rather anywhere near that pit anymore.

I missed Albert. Dont be alarmed. Missing isnt action. I've said i'll let go. I will.

Im sick of mahjongs. No more mahjong for the week.

Im sick of myself cooping up at home everyday and hanging ard the house everyday. I need a fcuking job. A job to kill me some time during the weekedays. But apparently, as u all can see, i have lack of discipline. I m lazy. Im just too spoilt to do so.

Im useless.